Thu 2 Nov 2006
Originally posted on The Witches’ Voice
August, 1998
Recently on a message board debate there was a heated discussion about whether or not Wicca as a religion focused either mainly or exclusively on the Goddess and all but forgot about the God.
In my travels on the internet and with personal contact of Wiccans, there are women who practice in all female covens. Some of these traditions are known as Dianics. In addition to Wicca being slated as the return of the Goddess to the neo-Pagan realm, many feminists swing the pendulum the other way to counter-act the long term influence of the mainstream, patriarchal religions that for so long have debased women and prevented them from becoming an active part of society as well as clergy in their faiths. But I wonder…do two wrongs make it right?
My personal experience with Dianics (or at least the ones I have spoken to) left a bitter taste in my soul. During a Pagan discussion meeting, I asked a Dianic woman about her coven. I merely asked her about their tradition as I had not met any Dianics previous to her. Her response to my inquiry was quite blunt, “Oh…men aren’t allowed in our coven.” I smiled and restated my inquiry, strongly indicating that I had no wish to join her coven, merely to learn more information about beliefs and practices. I got a ”polite” brush off.
This same woman, whenever she could, inserted jibes against men during other discussions, most of which had nothing to do with issues between men and women.
There is also a movement of women who purposely change their gender reference to “womyn”, “womon”, “wimmin” or even “wombon”. On the surface, this appears to be an attempt to remove the “man” or “men” from the extension of “woman” and can appear to some as a hostile or even symbolic severing from men in general. Additionally, many practice ritual without the use of athames, wands or other “phallic” symbols. So much for the “Great Rite”.
Now there is no doubt that men and women are different. Yet we are all still human and we still need each other. There is no doubt that in the Cosmic realm of all that is, male and female aspects are seen everywhere. Granted there are some forms of life that are androgynous and some gods Who are hermaphrodites, but here again, its either male, female or both.
Some feminists practice a mind-set that men are “no longer needed”. In a column by Rosie DiManno, she flatly states that men,
“Are from another planet, sent here by spaceships to copulate with female earthlings and propagate the species—a task for which science has rendered them all but redundant. We need keep only a handful of donors on a sperm farm for that purpose, where they can subsist on pizza and beer and Playboy magazine …Men think with their ding-a-lings and screw up with their brains.” Quoted in the Alberta Report, January 11, 1999, page 31.
Now before I become barraged by the ladies who are reading this, don’t get me wrong. I strongly believe in women’s rights - or anyone’s rights for that matter. Just as long as those same rights are given equally to others - not exclusively. This does not mean each being is equal to the other - rather each being should and does deserve the same amount of respect.
In Wicca, there is a default Goddess focus that many have not bothered to think about. Indeed, the God is most often used as an afterthought or even excluded. In many instances, He is referred to as the “Consort of the Goddess” not as a Father figure. Even the idea that Pan Himself, who is understood to be rather…promiscuous, is shoved into the background as a “typical horny male”. Awe, come on…guys just wanna have fun!
Where is the male aspect in Wicca? Well…its there. You just have to look harder. But it shouldn’t be that way in a religion where balance is understood in all things and that male/female duality is an intricate part of Wicca. In fact, modern Wicca as we know it was reformed in the 1950’s by a man! Yet he too recognized the Goddess and the God both, and as equals. There are very few all-male Wiccan covens or even websites. In fact, many of those are gay Wiccan males that focus mainly on the God. Again, this is rather limiting, in comparison to the Goddess focus, in which some all-female covens tend to be lesbians. It is difficult enough for would-be Wiccans to find and become a part of a coven, especially if the only resource they have in their area is all male or all female and they are looking for fellowship from both.
A feminist stated on a message board once about men who point out the exclusive focus on the Goddess
“You are just saying that because you are not in touch with your feminine side!”
This is just another tactic to put men on the defensive. Just because an individual isn’t overtly feminine in one instance and overtly masculine in another does not mean they are wrong. We are all different beings and have different personalities and souls. It is just like having the knowledge and the balance of light and dark - you know its there and you know how to make them work together. Some people can’t or won’t.
If we were all “in touch” with our opposite genders and used them both, I believe we would all be bi-sexual, strong and sensitive, good and bad, light and dark, and of one mind-set. What a bore that would be! Who is it that said the masculine side should be only one way and the female another? We all have to find ourselves and work within our souls. If this means being a stronger person - work towards it. Being stronger has nothing to do with being male. Being sensitive has nothing to do with being female. Being strong or sensitive has to do with the spirit and the soul, not the physical gender.
If we practice a belief that the God and Goddess are all part of the Great Spirit Whom is genderless, then how can we possibly assume that the individual spirit is of only one gender as well? If in another tradition there is a true duality and/or there are many gods and goddesses, there is still the balance to which many Wiccans understand and adhere. There are even those who have done past life regression and found that they, in one lifetime of many, were once the opposite gender than their present physical form.
In my previous coven, there is no doubt that there was a balance between the Lord and the Lady. We honored both aspects equally venerating each god’s individual aspect during that particular time on the wheel of the year or during other prayers and rituals. We respected the individual’s beliefs and practices when honoring the gods, but there is no singular, gender specific deity that we focus on exclusive to the other. Indeed, we honor the Great Spirit as well. That is made clear to potential members from the beginning. In networking with other covens and individuals, we also see this as becoming more the norm. There are more books that are appearing in Pagan shops as well, that focus on the various aspects and importance of the God.
Personally, I have no problem with covens or solitary practitioners who invoke only the God or the Goddess. If this is what works for you, so be it. All too often, however, I have experienced this divine polytheistic practice, as I see it, carried over into personal life as sexism. Wicca is a deeply personal belief system and should not be used as an “excuse” to practice fear, racism or sexism. The general public is watching us even closer than before. What kind of an image do we want to project? Publicly we announce the balance within Wicca - privately, some ignore the one gender or the other.
There is no argument that the Goddess movement has empowered women and returned their dignity and position in the physical plane. Women have once again realized to be proud of their gender and their bodies, partake in the community, find a place among the ranks and become clergy in their faiths. The ideal of the Dark Warrior Goddess and the women who have overcome the odds to take their place in society has proven that neither gender is “better” than the other. Yet I wonder - why would some use this in a destructive way as the patriarchs once did? Swinging the pendulum 180 degrees in order to “mend patriarchal tyranny” only brings more tyranny - and no balance.